...Who's Gonna Be My Best Friend?

Every individual has their own perception of what love is, how it 'should' go, and how it should end. Whether it be extremely fairy tale motivated or a big dark cloud of negativity.

I'm personally not really big on 'love' per say, not in a 'love hater' sense, but because it seems more like a mandatory commercialized thing rather than a genuine feeling. Hallmark and novelty stores make a KILLING of love. People stay throwing it around like trash and candy for manipulation purposes, you can't even decide if you believe them or not. Everyone is an 'expert' on it, but check how many times they've been married and 'in love'....doesn't add up.

Anyway, someone who had the same thought after years of experience was the late great Bernie Mac. Something he said in the Phila. Daily News outweighed every fairytale, ideal, and myth of love I ever heard and gave me the realistic outlook I want and agree with:

"You know, love don't mean nothing. Really. I'm not a fan of love. People fall in and out of love everyday. Let the lights go off and see how much they love you. Don't let anything be on that table at 5 and see how much she loves you. Let that car keep breaking down...and see how much she loves you. I really believe out of 27 years of being with my wife that we went through that transition that we like each other. And I think that's the most important thing. I TRULY like her. She's my friend, you know, and I wouldn't trade her for NOTHING in the world..."

...couldn't of said it any better. To me THAT right there is Love...
-Ashley

...Standing Still Means Going Backwards

I joined a gym...kinda
My co-worker made a New Year's resolution that she was gonna lose 50lbs (not really but set high goals!).
A new gym just opened in the area and with the membership she got you can bring a guest for free as much as you want...and guess who's going for support :)

I don't even really wanna lose weight, cause I don't want to get all extra skinny - I just want to get toned, be in shape, and have a killer stomach. Maybe I can get myself back to the days when I ran track...that would rule - majorly

It could also help with my resolutions...oh wait, never said what they were:
***get out of my current comfort zone [[always gotta elevate!!]]
***get rid of prospects from '08 [[new year, new outlook, new men]]
***say yes more often [[never know what else I can get myself into if I say yes more often]]
***try to snap out of my 'nigga' phase [[it's gonna be a tough journey being girly & emotional again but I gotta get out of this extreme and find a middle ground]]
***quit smoking [[until I get a new job or maybe for good...we'll see how it goes]]
***continue saving money [[I'm either buying a house within the next yr or moving out of state again when I finish school]]

...that's all I can remember off top, just a bunch of goals to work on.

But anyway, to curb the smoking and release frustration- I can go work out and burn all the extra energy and some calories while I'm at it...sounds good right?

We went yesterday for like an hour n a half, and it was actually really refreshing. Yea it hurt alil while I was doing it and I know I'm sooo out of shape, but I was just proud of myself for being able to complete it without stopping.

We're going again today for 2 hours or so and we're gonna figure out a schedule so we go atleast 2 or 3 times during the week, in between the real world and Sixers games. I'm not allowed to quit or she'll kick my ass

I'm trying really hard to change myself for the better - for MYSELF and no one else. I evaluated myself and made this decision alone. I'm going to continuously give myself goals and work on things until I feel I've made a self-improvement & have accomplished things that helped me make my mark, be a great person & I feel could be proudly noted in my obituary...I know, that's kinda morbid - but it's something to think about.

Seriously...if you died today and someone wrote your obituary, what things do you think they would write? What impact do you think you had on their life that will be missed in your absence? What do you think they'd SAY about you during the service...shit who do you think will even show up?
...stuff to ponder on man

...I'm gonna attempt to stop slacking off at work now...
-Ashley

...The Randomness That Is ME

So I'm out with Bran & Tyk down Olde City and you know who I happen to notice? - That stripper from Philly or somewhere around it from the Real World. I think her name is Brianna.

I spotted her and was yelling to my friends "Hey, that's that girl from Real World." No big deal but I wanted to inform them she was there. She heard me, then turned around and was like "Hey Girl! How are you?" I answered her but kept it moving since she's not really that important, and she was on her way into the club, I didn't wanna interrupt her flow or mines. In after thought, I probably should of taken a picture. Normally I do with my poparatzi acting self. But I have witnesses and it's part of my memory. It was cool & random :)