...I'm in that gray area...
I want it - but I don't
I can get it - but I won't
...so close yet so far away...
I'm telling myself this time of self-reflection will be better for me in the long run....to establish myself alone instead of Ashley & [insert name here].
The goal and purpose is to find a suitable significant other....to not just "settle" for who wants me and looks nice for now and gain that person who doesn't need me to "compliment his swag" [because for one he won't use the word swag] but to simply be there for him and in return he do the same...that whole equal partnership thing people tend to not understand.
I'm not looking for a husband, but I am getting older and dating is no longer just for "fun" because at some point you're wondering if you'd ever see yourself being with that person for a prolonged amount of time...and life is too short to waste it on worthless people.
So as the fall kicks in and the winter is around the corner "boo loving season" as many may call it - I'm gonna actually network and such...get back into the swing of things on a human level and not just -what you got for me - ok I'm out - ...see if any of my attempts of self improvement can be put into effect and make it work.
I've gotten my practice kicks out on a few new people...see how they'd take to my personality
When the ex's resurface [as they annually do] I display my new attitude and it has gotten positive responses surprisingly...My never-ending need to talk shit hasn't died, but that's just apart of the package...I love it - damn near get off on it *shrug* ESPECIALLY when whoever the shit talk gets aimed has awesome comebacks...*swoon*
Finding the individuals is one thing, being myself 24/7 is nothing
....if/when I really believe I like said person is a whole battle in itself because I'll fight that feeling to the death JUST so they don't win and I don't have to admit it....
Even if they admit it first, I probably still won't do it because once you admit things like that...shit goes from cool and comfortable....to complicated and calculated....
I'm not gonna stress it though...I'm just gonna surround myself with good people [hopefully] and let time and fate help decide the rest...
...If It's Meant To Be It Will...
I want it - but I don't
I can get it - but I won't
...so close yet so far away...
I'm telling myself this time of self-reflection will be better for me in the long run....to establish myself alone instead of Ashley & [insert name here].
The goal and purpose is to find a suitable significant other....to not just "settle" for who wants me and looks nice for now and gain that person who doesn't need me to "compliment his swag" [because for one he won't use the word swag] but to simply be there for him and in return he do the same...that whole equal partnership thing people tend to not understand.
I'm not looking for a husband, but I am getting older and dating is no longer just for "fun" because at some point you're wondering if you'd ever see yourself being with that person for a prolonged amount of time...and life is too short to waste it on worthless people.
So as the fall kicks in and the winter is around the corner "boo loving season" as many may call it - I'm gonna actually network and such...get back into the swing of things on a human level and not just -what you got for me - ok I'm out - ...see if any of my attempts of self improvement can be put into effect and make it work.
I've gotten my practice kicks out on a few new people...see how they'd take to my personality
When the ex's resurface [as they annually do] I display my new attitude and it has gotten positive responses surprisingly...My never-ending need to talk shit hasn't died, but that's just apart of the package...I love it - damn near get off on it *shrug* ESPECIALLY when whoever the shit talk gets aimed has awesome comebacks...*swoon*
Finding the individuals is one thing, being myself 24/7 is nothing
....if/when I really believe I like said person is a whole battle in itself because I'll fight that feeling to the death JUST so they don't win and I don't have to admit it....
Even if they admit it first, I probably still won't do it because once you admit things like that...shit goes from cool and comfortable....to complicated and calculated....
I'm not gonna stress it though...I'm just gonna surround myself with good people [hopefully] and let time and fate help decide the rest...
...If It's Meant To Be It Will...
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