...Random Song of The Moment

I saw these guys live in NY with Titi
[sidebar: check out her blog...true hiphop fiend in the flesh and dope female
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...to be completely honest, she is the one who made me fall in love with them just by playing THIS song...which happens to be her favorite song as well...
If you've never experienced the music that is Foreign Exchange...you're missing out in life music that could probably get you through anything or even put you in a better place while going through it....
The group which mainly consists of Phonte from Little Brother and the producer Nicolay is a good thing...I approve this very much
...right now - this song is on repeat..once you listen, you may repeat it too....
DayKeeper...

...and when the sun rises, he watches over me....

...Fav Song of The Moment [city love]

It's raining...the breeding ground for slow jams, watching movies, trapping yourself in the house w/ whoever you so choose...
...this has been my uber fav artist and song since forever...but it fit perfectly today...I had it on repeat...now if only I had an actual reason to play it - haha
Imagination/ Crown Royal Suite - Jill Scott

...so this is making love...?
...so thick like - Crown Royal on iceeee....

...What Are You Guys Doing? - EATING BRAIN!!!

Me & Titi are going to Grand Central Station to prepare for our trip home...and we're greeted by this....

...The Great Wall

Cleaning out my room back in July, I came across all my random papers with the shit I write when I'm upset or just in general to clear my brain. Majority of the stuff is either sad or a self-description - which makes sense. Looking back on old stuff, I wonder where my mind was at that moment and although it may not be impressive to all I wonder where the fuck did I think of this shit - throwing out SAT words of the day on bishes. I probably found them at a good time since I'm en route to evolve and leave that mindset in the past with the bullshit situations that helped coerce those feelings...Ah well...better to write out the pain than to try and seek revenge..

Right now I have no idea why
...but I want to just cry
Last time I shed an honest tear was two years ago because my Grammy died.
For years I've told myself emotions are a weakness humans extort for personal purpose
So even if my insides burn from holding in pain - in vain - I'll smile and inform you I'm fine
My feelings could be stomped on numerous times but I'll take it in stride yet never confide - that's why you'll never hear from me again...
Sharp pains shoot through me to remind my subconscious there's something hiding - whether I acknowledge it or not.
No amount of ignorance can be bliss when it comes to your own feelings.
Now I feel like I'm falling deeper into an abyss of denial, distraction, maybe even depression.
Instead of put myself in a situation that can end badly I'd rather avoid it all together.
There's a less chance of losing when you take yourself out the game
I have my eyes on my prize but the cost is too steep
I feel destiny is trying to lead me to complacency
To settle for what I can get and make the best of it
"Pickings Are Slim/ Beggars Can't Be Choosers" - but I can't divulge when all I meet are losers..



Bitch...
Term of endearment or nickname for a dog
A state of mind or a self-defensive fog
A Bush mentality - shooting poison filled daggers rapidly
Always attack the other before they can get to me
Making it clear I'm not one to be fucked with
I see through all of your bullshit so save it for someone who cares...
Bitch...
Life sentence or powerful asset
Never again stepped on or over - that's the past
Yet there's nobody walking by my side for comfort, support, or to emit pride...
Those cries are muffled by that strong power I rev like the engine on my minds boat that sputters to a halt in the ocean of my thoughts...


...like...where do I come up with this shit....?

...*Flavor Flav* Wooooooow....

...Yo...boul was wasted as shit...and came all the way out for more?!
...just watch it...

Worst Shopping Run Ever - Watch more Funny Videos

...Twitter Love...

Juelz mackin bitches off Twitter...but hey - internet dating happens all the time...right?
But it's funny to get that moment of silence when people ask you "How'd ya'll meet?"
Gotta feel alil embarrased to say Twitter...but now if they can do it...bet you everyone will think they can [if they haven't already]...
But now a days really...no matter where you meet em, they'll still end up being crazy LOL
...and any Santana groupies...let it be known you're not talking to him..you're talking to his assistant - his girl Kimbella says so

Thee Best Halloween Costume EVER!!!

..pretty much explains itself...shit's hot

...Just Jammin

...She Always Knows How To Hit A Nerve....

...The more I think there's a chance we're making progress, she always some out of left field with some bullshit. Even in a time of trying to have family unity and support she can sucker a way to throw a nail under the tire.

I check my Facebook to see I have a message from my mother - who mind you is in the next room, which basically was a backhanded Thank You for helping/supporting her during this time even though she knows I don't like or love her, have better things to do, and hopefully wont be a bother too much longer. Almost on cue after I read this she walks in and I go right in asking straight up what the fuck was that about...but she has no answer no matter how many different ways I ask her this question.

Yes, I told her I don't like her levels of priorities, how she handled raising me, and that I consider my Grammy more of my mother than her - just being honest, but I've never told her in any form that I hated her...she's still my mother. No, We don't have that mother/daughter "bond" like I see other females have, but I do still care about her and her well-being...always have even when I felt it wasn't reciprocated. So in my mind...that thank you was rude and a slap in my face on too many levels.
All my life I'm fighting to make you happy so you can show that you love me or any form of attention for that matter and now you want to pull some shit like that baffles me. I atleast thought we had grown, matured, and understood each other during these recent times of close proximity - but apparently I was wrong.

To be honest, this saddens me deeply and I don't know how to handle it.
All I ever wanted was someone to care. The main person I KNOW did, is no longer alive.
And people I have now that possibly do - I push them away when I feel like this because I'm so used to trying to cope alone I don't know how to do it any other way.
I feel stuck in a vicious cycle of giving but never getting anything in return or having it turned around to where I'm wrong for whatever I do on account of what you did first...
...I just needed to vent...

...Pure Genius Sarah

We all want to save the world, so lets hit em where it counts - church

...Random Song of The Moment

Was having a convo about the ways dark liquor can have major effects on people. One of my faults is if I have a significant other, it tends to make me turn them into what I call "victims". My nigga Mr. Lampkin said I made it sound like hunting antelope and in it's own small way it is, since I see what I want and I'm sure I'll get it. After my subtle hints and not so subtle hints to those who know me I like to believe I then take the bold yet melodious approach like this song to finish the trap...so Let's Take A Walk with Raphael Saadiq

...The Flower In The Road '05

...You never know the way the roads of life will take you, so you walk aimlessly through it trying to memorize landmarks along the way. Things continue to be unfamiliar until you notice a beautiful flower you passed earlier. You admire its beauty and continue on your journey until you seem to pass the same flower again...and again...and again.
Finally you decide you need to get past this to further on your walk of life, yet the flower intrigues you so much you stay. You admire the shape of its petals, the unusual colors blended beautifully together, the seemingly perfect thing in the midst of the monotony of green.
You reach to pick the flower and the closer you get the more it changes: the colors fade, the stem grows thorns, and the petals shrivel as if it's protecting itself from you. You pull back and the majestic flower stands. You think of ways to get this flower without it changing.
You take a picture, but the flower doesn't show up on film.
You try and paint it, but the colors don't do the flower justice.
You try to cut the stem but the blade doesn't even leave a mark.
You sit and wonder should you stay and keep trying to pursue the flower for you to have and cherish forever...or continue through life without it...

...Favorite Song of The Moment

First heard this song when one of the dancers on So You Think You Can Dance did their short performance to save themselves to it. I downloaded it that day and somehow put it in the wrong playlist, blah blah blah blah and didn't hear it again until about 3 months ago. It's a simple yet beautiful song

Let's not fight, I'm tired can't we just sleep tonight?
Turn away, it's just there's nothing left here to say
Turn around I know we're lost but Soon We'll Be Found...

"Soon We'll Be Found" - Sia

...Why Women Have Sex

After taking a survey with some women..there are actually 237 reasons why women have sex and it's not about romance or pleasure. It must be embedded in females heads that sex can get you all sorts of things or make you the master without even trying to hard...cool article I was led to by @DACHESTERFRENCH actually....random - I know. Check the article below...and if you get the chance get the book with the same title written by clinical psychologist Cindy Meston

WHY WOMEN HAVE SEX

...Pure Talent

In the bathroom...just singing...no studio, AUTOTUNE
just a camera and a song in her heart

...Fav Song Of The Moment

Been playing this song quite often at work and in my car...dunno what it is about it - but I like it
Regardless of all thats going down I still luvz me some Chris Brown and here's either a leaked song off his album or just some extra treats :) Fatal Attraction

...Short Rare Glimpse Into History

A small clip of Anne Frank looking out of the window at a nearby wedding...taken only a year or so before she and her family were forced into hiding.

...Bitch You Dumb

By now everyone should've heard about the Anita Teldaldi story. Family adopts a baby of another race, then 18 months later terminates the entire thing because they "didn't bond". Her whole theory was to show you can still love a child as your own even when they're not.
First...what the hell kind of bonding was she looking for
Secondly...bonding goes both ways...maybe you didn't appeal to the child for him to open up to you the way you'd like or maybe that's just not his thing. Some people can't even bond with the children they give birth to - so now you're going to use adoption as a trial and error project....?
Raising a child takes work whether the chils is from your womb or not...the child she received was left on the side of the road...so it's possible he could have early on-set emotional detachment issues. Who knows...but by taking him into your home then sending him away again can't be doing anything better for this poor child's outlook on life or self-esteem...now you've probably made him feel so unwanted - worse than being left on the side of the road since at least those parents didn't leave a lasting imprint in his mind. He KNOWS you, he's gotten accustomed to you and your lifestyle and you've messed up his feeling of stability and consistency. Hopefully whatever family has him now will have more patience or be a better fit for him.