It has been so long since we had last spoken and yet ... Is it too out in the beyond to say that when everything become quiet in my world and all I have is time to reflect, the first thing that comes to my mind is you. It's funny, everytime I feel like I am at a crossroad the only thing that center me still is the thought of you.
Right now it is 4am and I am sitting in bed with the laptop listening to music. I have so much to say and yet as I am typing this to you I find myself withholding the words I would usually share with you. And it is frustrating. Since we had stop talking, do you know how many women came after you? And yet, I am here and not there. I come to you because I expect you to figure this out... To figure me out.
People say I am good with words, but sometimes I would rather not explain everything. Sometimes I would rather have the person I am with to just understand without me having to lead the way towards it. Do you know what frustrated me so much about you? It was that you understood me and that made it difficult for me to do things half-way.It is so much that I wish I had given you the chance to teach me. To love harder and deeper. To be more understanding. To be considerate. These things aren't easy you know. But for some reason, it came to you naturally.
You are probably thinking 'what are you trying to get at Asad.' Honestly, I don't know. At a moment like this, it would be helpful if you lived close by lol. I could do for a nice steaming mug of whatever you can't burn lol and a good conversation. I guess that is what I am really thirsty for.. a thought quenching debate from minds on the same level. A give and take that could go on for eons.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are less than amazing. For I have stared into the face of it and saw your brown eyes looking back at me knowingly. You will always be Relly Bear to me, never forget it.
-Cor'an
Anyone that knew me during that era (Fall 04-Spring/Summer 06) knows the drama, madness, head over hills and even out of control relationship we had. It was a sum up case of 'good girl & bad guy like each other, they fall in love, bad guy tries to change for the better & plan a future but can't, good girl tries to help but inevitably loses.' Another factor was both people have real bad similar tempers & when one got mad, the other got madder. Both almost perfect for each other, but it just wasn't the right time. Even though it sucks it ended, it's still sweet to know that even in the seperation HE knows I was the one he let slip away...& a part of his <3 will always belong to me...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
...The Past Always Has A Way Of Catching Up With You
Just another day in the life...until I receive a message from my ex-husband.
Monday, March 24, 2008
...Random
An acquaintance of mine recently had a revelation about life. Read & interpret yourself, it's alot easier than trying to explain...:
We are alive to live. We die to give time meaning. There is no such thing as heaven, you were given life to exist. No being is superior to another, we are all equal. There is a God, but we will never understand God - It's simply out of our comprehension. Karma is real, it's proof of God. We are not responsible for the state of the world. We are responsible for how we impact it. Perfection isn't real. Life is a gift.
...think on that
-Ashley
Friday, March 21, 2008
...How You Know Gas Is Fucking Up Peoples Lives
In Arizona, a woman REALLY wanted some gas money. She offered a gentleman oral sex and when he refused, she decided to stab him a couple times for denying her. Now instead of getting gas, she now has aggravated assault charges.
For the full story click the link:
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
...Greatest Party Day Since I've Been Legal
One Friday because a club was having a 25 cent drink special until 11:30 me & Tyk decided to go party, since that's what we do best...and besides it's fucking Friday. We get to the club, but the drink special is over so we get our usual fav. poison of choice (Long Island Ice Tea). It's $12 and stingy but whatever it's Friday we're ballin. It's the first time we ever went to this place and it's small and crowded as shit. We're dressed fly as shit and we're getting alot of looks and compliments so that made us happy, but its too crowded and we can't move or mingle, so we leave. We go to a bar like two doors down. They have no cover charge & $5 Corona's - can't beat that, so we chill and drink them and jam. We then decided to check the rest of the bars on the block before we settle and carry our drinks with us in my purse (lol). They're not as cool, and the other club across the street has a long ass line that we weren't waiting in, so we go back to our spot. We get a couple more beers, some random guy buys us this AWESOME shot, and we buy another one because it's good. It gets close to closing time so we get a couple dances in, get a couple numbers and leave the bar. We get outside to head to the car and get a couple more numbers during the walk to the car and while just standing outside. We then not head home, we go chill with some guys smoke a little laughed a little and got some free stuff just for being pretty - literally.
We finally decided to stroll in the house at like 7ish smoke a blunt and then finally decide to sleep at like 10:30 after eating some pancakes :)
After all of that, we didn't even need to party the rest of the weekend lol. It was a wonderful time. If that's my summer preview I'm ready!
We finally decided to stroll in the house at like 7ish smoke a blunt and then finally decide to sleep at like 10:30 after eating some pancakes :)
After all of that, we didn't even need to party the rest of the weekend lol. It was a wonderful time. If that's my summer preview I'm ready!
...Night of Fun Turned To Shit
Me & Tyk go out for St. Patrick's Day & to also reunite her with one of her friends she hadn't seen in a long time. We had a great time until it was time to leave.
First off, we're way off in the Boondocks of the Northeast and I don't really know it like the back of my hand so I need exact directions so I make sure I don't get lost. Getting there was absolutely perfect, everything rolled wonderfully. We got there had a nice catch up time and walked to the bar and chilled and had a nice evening. When it's time to leave though is a whole other story. I get to my car to realize it looked like somebody egg'd the back windshield. I let it slide, it's nothing a car wash can't fix - fuck it. I then try to head home, my 95 route is blocked off for some God forsaken reason, I somehow end up in Jersey and have to pay damn toll. I then get talked into taking a random quick trip to South Philly (mind you it's Monday & I do have to work the next day). On the way there I get a moving violation for $118.50. We finally get there, we both have to pee like some racehorses and the bastards don't answer the phone or the doorbell. We hit someone else's bell by accident and they think we're crazy for being out there and damn near fear for their safety. All of this drama and we STILL have to pee! I then finally lose my temper, throw my phone against a wall and speed off into the sunset to just get home as soon as possible. I should've just listened to my first instinct and just went home once we finished hanging up Northeast.
I then wake up in the morning, get ready to head to work, and lucky me has a damn flat tire. Not only did whoever egg my car, but they slashed my tire as well - fucking great.
Now I have to shell out bout $200 in one day all because of that one evening that I only planned on spending $40. So needless to say I'm not going anywhere for a little bit, and my tax rebate check I was so happy to see and get is now going to everything except what I wanted it to.
...ain't life grand
First off, we're way off in the Boondocks of the Northeast and I don't really know it like the back of my hand so I need exact directions so I make sure I don't get lost. Getting there was absolutely perfect, everything rolled wonderfully. We got there had a nice catch up time and walked to the bar and chilled and had a nice evening. When it's time to leave though is a whole other story. I get to my car to realize it looked like somebody egg'd the back windshield. I let it slide, it's nothing a car wash can't fix - fuck it. I then try to head home, my 95 route is blocked off for some God forsaken reason, I somehow end up in Jersey and have to pay damn toll. I then get talked into taking a random quick trip to South Philly (mind you it's Monday & I do have to work the next day). On the way there I get a moving violation for $118.50. We finally get there, we both have to pee like some racehorses and the bastards don't answer the phone or the doorbell. We hit someone else's bell by accident and they think we're crazy for being out there and damn near fear for their safety. All of this drama and we STILL have to pee! I then finally lose my temper, throw my phone against a wall and speed off into the sunset to just get home as soon as possible. I should've just listened to my first instinct and just went home once we finished hanging up Northeast.
I then wake up in the morning, get ready to head to work, and lucky me has a damn flat tire. Not only did whoever egg my car, but they slashed my tire as well - fucking great.
Now I have to shell out bout $200 in one day all because of that one evening that I only planned on spending $40. So needless to say I'm not going anywhere for a little bit, and my tax rebate check I was so happy to see and get is now going to everything except what I wanted it to.
...ain't life grand
Thursday, March 13, 2008
...High Times Vol. 3
Tyk
High Times
Vol. 3
Todays Topic: Crazy Ass Niggaz & The Girls Who Love Them
High Times
Vol. 3
Todays Topic: Crazy Ass Niggaz & The Girls Who Love Them
While inhaling some herb I came to the revelation - Niggaz is crazy!... One day you wanna love me the next u ready to beat me up. I need one or the other so I know if I should go - not both at the same time. You're supposed to love me, cherish me, and whisper sweet nothings in my ear - not sweet death wishes. You can't even play with ya man, play fight, and can't say shit or he'll act like he wanna hit you. Saying crazy shit like "I'm gonna break your neck..".
But you know what I still love him. That's still my boo. I know it sounds kind of crazy but that's how I know he loves me, because that's his way of showing it when he's fucked up. Crazy, Drunk, High or not I know he loves me...he just need to get a handle on his extra curricular activites...What The Fuck.... What The Fuck...
But you know what I still love him. That's still my boo. I know it sounds kind of crazy but that's how I know he loves me, because that's his way of showing it when he's fucked up. Crazy, Drunk, High or not I know he loves me...he just need to get a handle on his extra curricular activites...What The Fuck.... What The Fuck...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
...Fruity Drug Bust
The DEA busted three men in California for allegedly selling lots of candy flavored cocaine. The agents found eight pounds of the candy coke in various flavors including:
lemon, cinnamon, strawberry and coconut.
Sources are saying the flavored coke was very popular with young drug users - mostly women
..I wonder why it hadn't gotten to the east coast, they'd of made a killing!
...Is This What We're Teaching Our Kids?
...and we wonder why things are the way they are. Then we want to cry and say 'he/she was such a good kid', but you encourage them, videotape them, and post on YOUTUBE for all the world to see like the little girl has just made a major accomplisment. In actually all she has done is display the failure of her parent or even sibling. Even adults don't need to speak the way this girl is, who is probably no older than maybe 5. Besides what real issues would this child have to need to say all that about whomever. Shit is not cute - at all.
...just watch
-Ashley
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Google Kick Of The Day
...haven't done this in awhile :)
Today's subject was inspired by a quote from Mos Def I was looking at today
So..todays topic is Fred Hampton. I had never heard of him before so I decided to investigate.Our prioritites is getting fucked up. Lil Jon - I love his
music, but why are the East Side Boyz names Big Sam & Lil Bo? What the fuck?
What's next Kunta and Kinte? The south should know better. This is the same
country that ran up in Fred Hampton crib and shot him in bed with his pregnant
wife. You think the rules changed because niggaz got #1 records? What are we
supposed to tell our kids? After Malcolm, Martin & DuBois we got Sam-Bo? I'm
supposed to be down with that "because it makes me dance..."?
He was born in Chicago in 1948. After graduating from Proviso East High School in 1966 and enrolling at Triton Junior College where he studied law - he joined the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and was appointed leader of the Youth Council of the organization's West Suburban branch.
October 1966 is the year The Black Panther Party was formed in Oakland. Hampton then founded a Chicago chapter November 1968 and immediately established a community service program. This included provision of free breakfasts for schoolchildren and a medical clinic that didn't charge patients for treatment.
One of Hampton's greatest achievements was to persuade Chicago's most powerful street gangs to stop fighting against each other. In May 1969 Hampton held a press conference where he announced a nonaggression pact between the gangs and the formation of what he called a "rainbow coalition" (a multiracial alliance of black, Puerto Rican, and poor youths).
Later that year Hampton was arrested and charged with stealing $71 worth of sweets, which he then allegedly gave away to local children. Hampton was initially convicted of the crime but the decision was eventually overturned.
The activities of the Black Panthers in Chicago came to the attention of J. Edgar Hoover and the FBI. Hoover described the Panthers as "the greatest threat to the internal security of the country" and urged the Chicago police to launch an all-out assault on the organization. In 1969 the Panther party headquarters on West Monroe Street was raided three times and over 100 members were arrested.
In the early hours of the 4th December, 1969, the Panther headquarters was raided by the police for the fourth time. The police later claimed that the Panthers opened fire and a shoot-out took place. During the next ten minutes Fred Hampton and Mark Clark were killed. Witnesses claimed that Hampton was wounded in the shoulder and then executed by a shot to the head.
The panthers left alive, including Deborah Johnson, Hampton's girlfriend, who was eight months pregnant at the time, were arrested and charged with attempting to murder the police. Afterwards, ballistic evidence revealed that only one bullet had been fired by the Panthers whereas nearly a hundred came from police guns.
After the resignation of President Richard Nixon, the Senate Intelligence Committee conducted a wide-ranging investigation of America's intelligence services. Frank Church of Idaho, the chairman of the committee, revealed in April, 1976 that William O'Neal, Hampton's bodyguard, was a FBI agent-provocateur who, days before the raid, had delivered an apartment floor-plan to the Bureau with an "X" marking Hampton's bed. Ballistic evidence showed that most bullets during the raid were aimed at Hampton's bedroom.
Later that year Hampton was arrested and charged with stealing $71 worth of sweets, which he then allegedly gave away to local children. Hampton was initially convicted of the crime but the decision was eventually overturned.
The activities of the Black Panthers in Chicago came to the attention of J. Edgar Hoover and the FBI. Hoover described the Panthers as "the greatest threat to the internal security of the country" and urged the Chicago police to launch an all-out assault on the organization. In 1969 the Panther party headquarters on West Monroe Street was raided three times and over 100 members were arrested.
In the early hours of the 4th December, 1969, the Panther headquarters was raided by the police for the fourth time. The police later claimed that the Panthers opened fire and a shoot-out took place. During the next ten minutes Fred Hampton and Mark Clark were killed. Witnesses claimed that Hampton was wounded in the shoulder and then executed by a shot to the head.
The panthers left alive, including Deborah Johnson, Hampton's girlfriend, who was eight months pregnant at the time, were arrested and charged with attempting to murder the police. Afterwards, ballistic evidence revealed that only one bullet had been fired by the Panthers whereas nearly a hundred came from police guns.
After the resignation of President Richard Nixon, the Senate Intelligence Committee conducted a wide-ranging investigation of America's intelligence services. Frank Church of Idaho, the chairman of the committee, revealed in April, 1976 that William O'Neal, Hampton's bodyguard, was a FBI agent-provocateur who, days before the raid, had delivered an apartment floor-plan to the Bureau with an "X" marking Hampton's bed. Ballistic evidence showed that most bullets during the raid were aimed at Hampton's bedroom.
..so in history every person that tried to do good for their community is a threat to the government supposedly. It's a conspiracy - a sin & a shame, but that's just how our world seems to work.
For your visual entertainment here is a four part series on The Murder of Fred Hampton
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
...enjoy
-Ashley
Monday, March 10, 2008
...I Can Haz Insurence? I Soberz I Swearz!
Those funny little pictures & also facebook bumper stickers of the cats speaking with the worst grammar, is actually a whole website! - who knew.
http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/
I think they're ridiculously hilarious - for no reason!
Now you can think so too - if you didn't already know
It's also been named #8 in The world's 50 most powerful blogs. For the full story click the link
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/mar/09/blogs
...enjoy
-Ashley
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
...Get It Together
...God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference...
-Ashley
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