...The Past Always Has A Way Of Catching Up With You

Just another day in the life...until I receive a message from my ex-husband.

It has been so long since we had last spoken and yet ... Is it too out in the beyond to say that when everything become quiet in my world and all I have is time to reflect, the first thing that comes to my mind is you. It's funny, everytime I feel like I am at a crossroad the only thing that center me still is the thought of you.

Right now it is 4am and I am sitting in bed with the laptop listening to music. I have so much to say and yet as I am typing this to you I find myself withholding the words I would usually share with you. And it is frustrating. Since we had stop talking, do you know how many women came after you? And yet, I am here and not there. I come to you because I expect you to figure this out... To figure me out.

People say I am good with words, but sometimes I would rather not explain everything. Sometimes I would rather have the person I am with to just understand without me having to lead the way towards it. Do you know what frustrated me so much about you? It was that you understood me and that made it difficult for me to do things half-way.It is so much that I wish I had given you the chance to teach me. To love harder and deeper. To be more understanding. To be considerate. These things aren't easy you know. But for some reason, it came to you naturally.

You are probably thinking 'what are you trying to get at Asad.' Honestly, I don't know. At a moment like this, it would be helpful if you lived close by lol. I could do for a nice steaming mug of whatever you can't burn lol and a good conversation. I guess that is what I am really thirsty for.. a thought quenching debate from minds on the same level. A give and take that could go on for eons.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are less than amazing. For I have stared into the face of it and saw your brown eyes looking back at me knowingly. You will always be Relly Bear to me, never forget it.

-Cor'an

Anyone that knew me during that era (Fall 04-Spring/Summer 06) knows the drama, madness, head over hills and even out of control relationship we had. It was a sum up case of 'good girl & bad guy like each other, they fall in love, bad guy tries to change for the better & plan a future but can't, good girl tries to help but inevitably loses.' Another factor was both people have real bad similar tempers & when one got mad, the other got madder. Both almost perfect for each other, but it just wasn't the right time. Even though it sucks it ended, it's still sweet to know that even in the seperation HE knows I was the one he let slip away...& a part of his <3 will always belong to me...