...I had this friend back in high school. Everyone told me not to associate with em...MY name would be drug through the dirt by being around em, my own dad told me nothing but trouble and drama followed em - but that was my best friend.
I was there through all the drama, issues, life turns, life changers that brought them up to a ceratin point...but I was always the wrong one. Maybe I never saw where I was making the mistakes but to me whatever I did was dumb and no reason for a blow out or ending of a friendship.
"You never speak first to me when we get to the bus stop.." rendered a six month non speaking clause...wtf?...silly high school shit - back when at that moment EVERYTHING seems like a big deal, even when it isn't
You're a little older now, some lives changed more than others...but that's still my best friend
We go on a trip to celebrate my birthday. Random turn of events like a malfunctioning room and a rip off hotel freezing my entire account and not just the amount due and incidentals, preventing me from spending money and therefore having fun. No prob, since we drove my car we'll just go back home, get a refund, thereby unfreezing my account, have a big dinner my mother cooked and tons of fun with the money we saved...wrong
We came back on a Friday, I called my bank and the hold the hotel placed on my account wouldn't be released until Tuesday. That kinda worked since that's the day I return to work and I inform my best friend. So also on Friday some of my friends from out of town came to visit me for my birthday, so I spent the time with them doing sightseeing touristy things and when we went out it was their treat because it was my birthday. We had the dinner at my house that my best friend didn't attend although they live right around the corner because they were cooking as well...no prob.
So on my last day of vacation I dropped my friends off at the train station and just having a relaxing final day before returning to work. I then get a phone call from my friend asking me wassup with they money, why am I ignoring em...blah blah blah. Now I'm confused because I swear I told em I'd give em the money on Tuesday. Now they're yelling at me about her mom's electricity being off like it's my fault and just bitching me out over something I can't help. I then inform her I'm not sitting on the phone to be yelled at and banged. She then calls my house phone leaving messages on the answering machine cursing and carrying on and saying I ruined this friendship over the money she would get back from the refund. Demands her stuff back and makes me rummage through her room to get mines...somehow it even got to the point where her mom really asked me if I stole the money! Even threatens to take me to court over some money I was giving back to you plus interest anyway. [Mind you it was $90]. I'm feeling all sorts of disrespected by some people I've treated like family and even better at times. They proved to me that "Friendship becomes Henshit when it comes to money" even when I'd spend money that I didn't have on my best friend...So from that day on, I've refused to speak to them. I'm good for holding grudges...and this one has been on for a few years
[long story but I needed to get it off my chest for good]
I on a whim sent her a Myspace request just to see what the response would be. She questioned my motives, but my only response was "No motives - just did it." She said "I haven't acted like I cared in years.." which is true...but better late than never..I had until one of us died to do it.
My internal reasoning is for myself. It's like my own sign that I'm letting the grudge go. I'm not trying to be best friends or anything again...just one of my steps of trying to be a better person like I promised earlier this year.
Once I got my phone back I called every number I had in there to try and start calling people.
I'm designating Sundays as official "Call Back" days. Talk to any and everyone regardless of how much work I have. Only way people will keep communicating with me is if I communicate with them. The psychic told me I'm a clear individual but I know I gotta work on getting my clarity out to everyone.
Me & My Dad had a conversation not too long ago about something parallel to this...
It was basically about the defense mechanisms my dad instilled in me because of his pain and with me being an only child. I'm guessing it causes me to instinctly push everyone away when I feel they're trying to hurt me in any way. But if I push everyone away there will be no one left and I have to realize...I need people. I can't do everything by myself, even if that's how life has played out for me so far, at some point I have to confide or depend on someone else and pray they follow through and even if they don't it's a lesson learned. I just really gotta learn to trust people...
It's a slow uphill battle, I've got years of dead skin to shed...but I'll continue to pursue the goal - wish me luck...
I was there through all the drama, issues, life turns, life changers that brought them up to a ceratin point...but I was always the wrong one. Maybe I never saw where I was making the mistakes but to me whatever I did was dumb and no reason for a blow out or ending of a friendship.
"You never speak first to me when we get to the bus stop.." rendered a six month non speaking clause...wtf?...silly high school shit - back when at that moment EVERYTHING seems like a big deal, even when it isn't
You're a little older now, some lives changed more than others...but that's still my best friend
We go on a trip to celebrate my birthday. Random turn of events like a malfunctioning room and a rip off hotel freezing my entire account and not just the amount due and incidentals, preventing me from spending money and therefore having fun. No prob, since we drove my car we'll just go back home, get a refund, thereby unfreezing my account, have a big dinner my mother cooked and tons of fun with the money we saved...wrong
We came back on a Friday, I called my bank and the hold the hotel placed on my account wouldn't be released until Tuesday. That kinda worked since that's the day I return to work and I inform my best friend. So also on Friday some of my friends from out of town came to visit me for my birthday, so I spent the time with them doing sightseeing touristy things and when we went out it was their treat because it was my birthday. We had the dinner at my house that my best friend didn't attend although they live right around the corner because they were cooking as well...no prob.
So on my last day of vacation I dropped my friends off at the train station and just having a relaxing final day before returning to work. I then get a phone call from my friend asking me wassup with they money, why am I ignoring em...blah blah blah. Now I'm confused because I swear I told em I'd give em the money on Tuesday. Now they're yelling at me about her mom's electricity being off like it's my fault and just bitching me out over something I can't help. I then inform her I'm not sitting on the phone to be yelled at and banged. She then calls my house phone leaving messages on the answering machine cursing and carrying on and saying I ruined this friendship over the money she would get back from the refund. Demands her stuff back and makes me rummage through her room to get mines...somehow it even got to the point where her mom really asked me if I stole the money! Even threatens to take me to court over some money I was giving back to you plus interest anyway. [Mind you it was $90]. I'm feeling all sorts of disrespected by some people I've treated like family and even better at times. They proved to me that "Friendship becomes Henshit when it comes to money" even when I'd spend money that I didn't have on my best friend...So from that day on, I've refused to speak to them. I'm good for holding grudges...and this one has been on for a few years
[long story but I needed to get it off my chest for good]
I on a whim sent her a Myspace request just to see what the response would be. She questioned my motives, but my only response was "No motives - just did it." She said "I haven't acted like I cared in years.." which is true...but better late than never..I had until one of us died to do it.
My internal reasoning is for myself. It's like my own sign that I'm letting the grudge go. I'm not trying to be best friends or anything again...just one of my steps of trying to be a better person like I promised earlier this year.
Once I got my phone back I called every number I had in there to try and start calling people.
I'm designating Sundays as official "Call Back" days. Talk to any and everyone regardless of how much work I have. Only way people will keep communicating with me is if I communicate with them. The psychic told me I'm a clear individual but I know I gotta work on getting my clarity out to everyone.
Me & My Dad had a conversation not too long ago about something parallel to this...
It was basically about the defense mechanisms my dad instilled in me because of his pain and with me being an only child. I'm guessing it causes me to instinctly push everyone away when I feel they're trying to hurt me in any way. But if I push everyone away there will be no one left and I have to realize...I need people. I can't do everything by myself, even if that's how life has played out for me so far, at some point I have to confide or depend on someone else and pray they follow through and even if they don't it's a lesson learned. I just really gotta learn to trust people...
It's a slow uphill battle, I've got years of dead skin to shed...but I'll continue to pursue the goal - wish me luck...
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